I Wish
by ThatFlyingEagle
Summary: Nine years removed from the Reaper War, and Miranda lives a calm life in Sydney, Australia. Things look good from the outside...but are they really? Oneshot, rated M for language and other adulty stuff.
**So, I have been working on so many chapter works that I got fed up and decided to do a one-shot! This thing is pretty long for a one-shot, but I think you readers will enjoy it. Things here are slightly AU, and some events will be fudged a tiny bit. Not that it will affect anything, I don't think.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Remember, test on Monday! Don't wait until Sunday night to start studying!" Miranda yelled over the din of her students leaving the room. It was just after three and her last class of Wednesday afternoons was just letting out. She had a few students rush out before she could even look at them, she had a few who promised that they would study before Sunday, which was a lie, and then she had a few remain behind for questions. These ones would pass this test, as they had all the others, with flying colors.

She spent some time discussing the finer points of molecular biology with two girls and a boy, her best students this semester, before bidding them a good weekend. Sometimes, she loved being a university professor, especially when she had students who loved the subject enough to actually care. Most of the time, she was content with it. Sometimes, she hated it. She knew her subjects, all biology and anatomy, perfectly well and it made teaching them rather simply.

The University of Sydney had hired her on the spot when the received her application and history. Of course, the second the read of her work during the Reaper War, the board of trustees barely hesitated. They even expressed their surprise at her choice to live and work in the city. After her life among the stars, they assumed that she wanted to remain there, on a starship or working on great, galaxy changing projects.

Which she would be doing, except life decided otherwise for her. Sometimes she thought about her decisions with a hint of regret. Honestly, she didn't hate her life here. Everything about it was normally very nice. The University paid her the salary of a celebrity, and she had so much power around here that she could demand near anything she wanted and she'd get it. Not that she did that, because it would be ridiculously arrogant to do so.

Just…sometimes she needed a break from things, and her sway around that school made it possible for her to take tiny vacations from time to time. Like a quick weekend away here, and a day away there.

She sat at her desk, glancing through some assignments that she had collected for the day and tsking at some students who made unforced errors. She made damn sure that her students were perfectly clear on the material, but some of them rushed their work and made stupid mistakes.

The use of paper here on Earth had initially gotten to her a little bit with how clunky and frustrating it could be, but she was slowly integrating data pads into the students work. Bit by bit, semester by semester, more and more of her units were taught electronically.

It was a beautiful day in Sydney today, hot and sunny with not a cloud in the sky and a light breeze to go along with it. Miranda no longer wore the catsuits of her military and espionage days; now, she wore pantsuits or casual clothing like jeans and dresses. For her lab sessions, she wore a special rubber suit, but it held no candles to her catsuits in terms of _hugging_ her features.

Her office was a simple affair, due to the fact that she hated clutter, with only a single powerful computer and a small stand of drawers. She had plants in the corners to give it a slightly more comfortable feel but…just like her existence they were…pedestrian.

With nothing else to do today, and grading she could do at home, she locked up and left quickly, walking briskly across campus to the skycar garages. At least Earth didn't still use earthbound transportation for commercial vehicles. There were bullet trains that ran across continents, but other than that transport was airborne.

Her drive home went by without event or significance. She sighed as the engine slowed to a halt outside her home. A lovely home, with a spacey front yard and a white picket fence. A pool in the backyard. A doghouse next to it with a golden retriever, eagerly waiting at the front gate for her.

"Hey there, Cooper. Did you miss me?" She cooed to the dog, petting it gently as she passed. He fell into stride next to her, his tongue lolling out to deal with the heat of the afternoon. "Let's get inside and get you some nice water." A quick glance at his water bowl by the doghouse confirmed that he had drank it all during the day. She would have to remember to get him a larger bowl.

The front door opened into a beautiful home, hardwood floors, tasteful decorations and everything she could ever want in a home. Everything any girl could ever want in a home. A large vidscreen in the living room with luxury furniture. A huge kitchen that was never short on stock. A large bathroom with a walk in shower and hot tub.

She picked up Coopers bowl from just beside the front door and took it to the kitchen, filling it with cold water from the sink. Cooper bounced up and down excitedly while she bent down to put it on the floor. "Stop jumping like that, you'll make me spill it!" She admonished with a laugh.

She went about putting her things on the table in the kitchen, laying out the papers she had to grade before setting about the kitchen, getting out food and turning on the stove. Minutes passed and there was food bubbling away, filling the room with a delicious aroma. Miranda made sure to check on it every few minutes to make sure it didn't burn.

A quick glance at the clock put it at five o'clock. Any minute…and there were the footsteps. The front door opened and closed.

"Miranda? I'm home!"

She walked to the entry way to the kitchen, which faced the front door foyer, arms crossed and hip leaned against the frame. "Have a good day, dear?" She asked.

He came and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her tenderly. "It's better now that you're here," He kissed her again and walked past, tossing his jacket on a hook. "Smells good! What's for dinner?"

Her husband, Ian Smith. By all standards that could be set by any woman in the universe, a good man to have as a husband. He was kind, sensitive, handsome, and faithful. Literally everything a woman could ask for. He had a great job and treated Miranda like a queen.

She followed him to the kitchen. "Stroganoff." She said, checking her pot and stirring the food.

He sat at the table, letting out a long breath. "My favorite. Thank you angel. How were the monsters today?" He asked, in reference to her students.

"Same as usual, I suppose. Some studying, some fooling around, and some too high to know what's actually going on with their lives." She answered back, putting more pepper in the pot. Ian liked his food a bit spicier than normal. "How did your meeting go today? I know you were worried about it."

He laughed, now digging through the fridge to find a soda. "Worried? Not Ian Smith. The party from America didn't know what hit them. Remember, I'm the king. All I do is win." She laughed at his joke, told a thousand times, then a thousand times more. It was forced, but she did it all the same. It made him feel good about himself.

This was her life now. Normal job teaching at a university. A big house with a white picket fence. She wanted for nothing. She had a wonderful, faithful husband who loved and respected her. He never fought with her, and was always willing to work through any problems they had with diplomatic discussion or compromise. Whatever she asked for, he got her without question. She sighed. It was a life that any woman in the universe would love to have.

And it was boring.

Her life had nearly no excitement in it. Every single day was the same. She worked during the morning and early afternoon, then came home and cooked dinner. Ian was home at five every single day. They talked about their day over dinner, and then went to work for two or three hours. Every night at nine, they watched vid shows that they followed, then showered together, which took another hour or two because that was normally where they had sex.

Ian was a skilled lover, and he went out of his way to make sure she was satisfied, which she always was. After shower and sex, they went to bed, just to wake up the next day and do it all over again. Miranda could not get pregnant, so children were no possibility unless they adopted, but Ian's career prevented it.

So this is what they did. Every. Single. Day. Some days, things changed but those changes were minor at best. She hadn't held a gun in ages. Ian didn't approve of violence. Hated it, in fact. Her biotics were only used when he wasn't around, seeing as he had grown up with a family who abhorred biotics as being unnatural.

Her days passed by her with dreadful calm, not a thing happening that could be considered interesting. Her life only grew interesting once every few months when _something_ interesting happened out in the galaxy and she heard about it through the Galactic News. She wished that she could go back up there. Back where the ships were cold and the bunks cramped. Back when she saw different stars every day. Back where she could see and interact with asari, turians, krogan, even volus.

Ian's family was always very traditional and set in their ways. Ian himself had never been to space, nor any of his family. He had no desire to go, either. Said that space was an unknown to great to risk. So…Miranda had not been off Earth in nearly nine years.

She yearned to go back, but her life was here. Ian was here. Her home was here. She just wished…she just wished that there was more that her life could offer her.

That night, she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling in the massive bed that she shared with her husband. He lay beside her, fast asleep with one hand laid soothingly on her midsection. He didn't even snore. A gentleman, even when he was unconscious.

She remembered times on the Normandy when she could hear Grunt snoring through the deck plates. Or the few times that she listened to the drell, Thane Krios, reciting his prayers early in the morning when he got tea. The Normandy, a microcosm of the galaxy at large, where she saw many different races each and every single day. She hadn't seen any alien, in person, for years.

She rolled over, showing her back to her husband's sleeping form and closed her eyes. Maybe sleep would come easily if she just realized that this was her life now.

* * *

"Dr. Smith?" A knock on the frame of her door pulled Miranda away from the computer screen that she had been staring at.

"Yes?" She saw a mailman standing at the door, holding a large bouquet of flowers.

"These are for you, ma'am." Miranda smiled widely as she took the wonderful present from him and set it on her desk, taking the card as well and signing the man's data pad. She opened the card and, as expected, found Ian's messy handwriting.

 _To my angel,_

 _Just wanted to remind you that your my girl! Love you!_

 _Ian_

She let out a short chuckle at his purposeful misuse of grammar. Many years ago, on a present he sent to her from overseas, he misused the forms of _your_ and _you're_. Now, it was a constant thing in any card he sent her. So…exhilarating that he was coming up with new ways to make her laugh.

"Another one? That's the third one in the past two weeks!" Miranda sat back down and swiveled her chair to the door, where he colleague Dr. Terry stood. Justin Terry was a wonderful man who lived in Sydney with his husband. He started working here three years before Miranda did, and they were the youngest pair in the department.

She smiled. "Yes. Ian is quite fond of sending me these impromptu gifts. Just wants to let me know…that he loves me…" She sighed the last bit, rubbing her temple with a hand. At first, these presents set her spine aflame with desire for the man who treated her so well. Now they were just…irritating.

Terry chuckled. "Well Miranda, at least he sends you presents. Harry only sends me the grocery list!" The two of them shared a laugh at his joke. She knew that Justin and Harry were very happy men. Lots of excitement in their lives. She hears about it every day.

"How is Harry doing? I haven't seen him in a while." She turned back to her computer, wandering through her mail and finding precious little worth of interest.

Terry dropped himself into her student chair. "Busy. My god, with the upcoming military events, he's been up to his eyes booking and planning venues."

Miranda cocked an eyebrow and looked at her colleague. "Military events? What's happening?"

Terry waved a hand. "Oh, fancy promotional stuff. I hear that a bunch of soldiers from the Normandy are being promoted."

Miranda spun in her chair. "The Normandy? It's going to be here, in Sydney!?" She exclaimed, her eyes wide. Since being a civilian and all, Miranda was quite out of the loop when it came to the Normandy and it's movements through the galaxy. This was the first she was hearing of all this.

Terry nodded. "Oh yes. Next week, I'm sure…didn't you know? You were on the Normandy during the war, weren't you?"

Miranda nodded, her eyes hazing over as she remembered a far more interesting time in her life. "Yes, but I haven't been a part of anything military related since Ian and I got married. I don't hear things anymore." It was a fact that stung at her. For so long, she had been the woman who knew everything there was to know. Her secrets had secrets about other secrets. Now she was just a woman. A woman with a painfully boring life.

Terry was right on the money when he said the Normandy would arrive the next week, and Miranda stood on the pier of Sydney harbor, watching the majestic frigate descend from the sky when it did arrive. Unfortunately, that was as close to her as she would get. Military galas and balls, especially those that had big promotions tied to them, were private events.

At one time in her life, she would have been inside that event. Probably, in fact, she would be one of the guests of honor. Not anymore though. Now she was just…Dr. Smith, molecular biology, office hours ten to one thirty every day. Her lunch break ended and she went back to the school to finish her day.

It was boring. Just like everything else.

She went home, stopping at the store to pick up soda for her husband. She told him it was bad for him, but he loved the stuff, so she made sure it lived in their fridge. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, she arrived home to find Cooper jumping at the gate, his water bowl empty. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, she took him inside and refilled his bowl, then started dinner.

Five came and Ian arrived home, with the normal greeting of kisses and some corny joke she'd heard a thousand times already. She forced herself to laugh while she dished dinner for them. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

Until the doorbell rang.

Miranda looked up in surprise, her mouth full of broccoli, sharing a confused look with Ian. They weren't expecting visitors…she went to get up, but her husbands stopped her.

"It's alright, babe. I'll go get it." She smiled and thanked him with a nod and went back to eating, her eyes glaring at an article she had found earlier. She heard the door open and Ian greet somebody, but she nearly spit out her food when she heard the next voice.

"Hello, Mr. Smith. Is Miranda available?" Miranda got up and ran to the front door, seeing Lindsey Shepard standing there, dressed to the nines in blues with a gleaming new medal on her chest. The five stars of an Admiral hung there, shining proudly in the late afternoon sun.

Miranda ducked past her husband's arm, wearing a large grin. "Lindsey!" She pulled Shepard into a hug, squeezing hard enough for the medal to poke painfully against her breast.

Shepard hugged back just as hard. "Hey there, Miranda…long time no see." They held the hug, just a moment or two too long before Miranda pulled away, stepping back and taking stock of her old friend.

"Congratulations, Admiral," Miranda laughed, throwing up a loose salute. Shepard grinned and saluted back, just as flippantly.

"Can I trouble you for a drink? It only got this hot in space when things on the Normandy got quiet." Shepard asked fixing Miranda with an odd look, and she felt a stab of nostalgia run through her. No…space didn't get this hot, but what about her other statement?

Miranda pushed Ian back towards the kitchen, making room. "Oh yes, please. Come in and head to the kitchen. Are you hungry? I know I have some extra food from dinner…" She led Shepard back to the table and went about getting her some water. Ian sat down across from Lindsey, a smile on his face.

"It's been a long time, Admiral. How goes things?" Of course, Lindsey and those of the Normandy crew who could get away from their work had come to her wedding, so Ian had met a few of them. Briefly. None of them liked him.

Shepard maintained a rigid posture, sitting with her hands folded in her lap and her cap set politely on the table. "Busy. No wartime procedures to worry about, but mercenary presence coming out of the Terminus Systems is increasing."

Ian nodded, although he had no idea what she was talking about, and nor did he have any idea about the condescending glare Shepard centered on him when he looked away. "I see. Well, if anyone can solve the problem, I believe it to be you." Miranda returned with the water and a plate of food and placed them in front of Lindsey.

"Thanks Miranda."

She sat down next to her husband and crossed her legs. "So Lindsey. How is everyone?"

Shepard held a finger up, her mouth full of food and she didn't want to be rude. She finished chewing and took a long drink of water before nodding. "Good. Vega is a commander now. So is Ashley. They got married three years back. It was a quick thing. I did it in the CIC on the Normandy."

Miranda awed. "Oh, that's nice. Send them my congratulations, would you?" She really had little experience with either of the two humans, but she remembered Vega's stalwart aid during the days after the crucible fired. Then he was a lieutenant, but he still coordinated the survivors into groups of salvage and rescue teams.

Ashley Williams had never truly liked Miranda at all, mostly due to the whole Cerberus thing. Williams was always wildly loyal to the SA, and anybody who stood against them made her black book. Still, they had found happiness in each other, so Miranda would wish them well.

Shepard nodded. "I'll do that. Liara is still a big time info broker on Ilium. Tali and Garrus are working on Rannoch, alongside the geth, to get things built up again. Grunt is with Wrex on Tuchanka, still trying to unite all the clans. Jack went back to teaching at Grissom. Most of the human crew are still with me on the Normandy, along with EDI. She helps us deal with pirate attacks…"

Miranda smiled wistfully as Shepard continued to recount tales of what she and the others had been up to in the nine years that Miranda had spent married to Ian on Earth. Everyone else's lives were so exciting. So dynamic. Shepard still fought pirates on a regular basis, and she knew that Tuchanka had battles every day that Wrex and Grunt fought in. Jack was a teacher, but at the New Grissom Academy. She was around the cutting edge of technology and research.

"Dear?" She shook her head as Ian's soft voice entered her ears. She found both he and Shepard watching her, him with concern and Shepard with a near hateful glare at the side of Ian's face. "You alright? You drifted out there for a minute."

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. My students have a test coming up and I was thinking about it." She assured. Ian took her explanation at face value, laughing and telling some joke about how he played second fiddle to the university. Miranda met Shepard's eyes and knew that Lindsey bought none of it. The new admiral wore a sad, regretful visage as she stared at her old XO.

It reminded Miranda of a time when she was not so sure in her decisions in life. A time when a chance at something…wonderful, walked in front of her eyes every single day, not hiding itself from her at all. A chance that offered itself to her with no reservations or questions. All she had to do was take it; but she didn't. She was too cautious and, when it came time for her to make decisions, and when that time came, the chance wasn't there.

It was something she thought about day in and day out. What could have been if she had ignored her reservations that day and joined Shepard the night before Earth. What would have happened if she had stopped thinking about self-preservation for once. She had a chance at true happiness…and she let it pass her by.

After the battle, Shepard was a mess. In a coma for almost a year before she came to. By that time, all her injuries had been either healed or repaired. Still, she had to learn to walk again. She had to learn to use her body again. When she was finally herself again, Miranda Lawson was Miranda Smith.

"Well…" Shepard began awkwardly, sensing that things had gotten tense. "I'll let you lovebirds get on with your evening." Miranda winced at the term. Lovebird. Maybe at one time, she would have agreed. She loved Ian…but to call them lovebirds anymore? A reality she wished she could have.

Once Shepard left, Miranda attacked her husband ferociously, tearing his clothes apart and ravishing him. She hoped that maybe wild sex could take her mind off her troubles. Maybe that it would convince her that her marriage wasn't the stagnant part of her life. She and Ian went for hours, breaking only for water. It felt good, physically but…it brought her no comfort.

* * *

Ten days later and Miranda still felt the effects of Shepard's visit and a glimpse into the wonderfully exciting lives everyone else led throughout the galaxy. Even Ian had sensed that something was amiss when he found her staring at the wall one evening, dinner burning away in the kitchen. He had tried to get her to talk about it, but she shook him off that night. They went through the motions, but it was clearly without much flare.

The day after that awkward night, Ian had to leave on a business trip to the United States, which left her with the house to herself and a whole storm of emotions to deal with on her own. She had changed so much since the days of the war, and it had begun to show. She couldn't even deal with her rogue feelings anymore without dwelling on the past.

She stood next to her pool, wearing a light sundress and a colorful bikini, with a martini in her hand. Fruity drinks had never really been her style. Until she got married, that was, and it became odd for her to down shots of rum. Originally, she had planned to come out here and tan, but her mind got on Lindsey and their past and how things could have been different. It was impossible, because she was a married woman and she would never leave Ian for a pipe dream that would never become reality.

She sighed and set down the martini on a glass table next to the poolside. Maybe a quick swim would clear her head, and then she could lay in the sun and let it bake her problems away.

Once her hands were empty and she walked for the diving board on the other side of the pool, she heard a scrape against the bricks that rounded their pool. Before she could look at what the sound was, an arm snapped around her neck, a gloved hand covering her mouth while the other arm clamped around her waist, trapping her strong right arm.

She tried to break the hold, but her attacker's steel grip held firm, she could see a sleeve and felt nothing but material behind her, which meant that her attacker was clothed, fully. Again, she attempted to break free but met with no success.

The man began to drag her away from the pool and back towards the house, and Miranda started to panic. Physically, she was still an extreme specimen of human perfection. She should be twice as strong as most men, and that included your average home invader. She couldn't even budge this guy's grip on her, which made her aware that it could in no way be Ian trying to spice things up. He was handsome, but he wasn't strong.

She prepped her body and flared her biotics, trying to press her attacker away with a barrier. Or, at least that is what she tried to do. Her amp, which she only wore when Ian wasn't around, simply thrummed hotly before falling silent, producing no biotics whatsoever. Now, she really began to panic. Who was this? They were stronger than her, and they had something on them that dampened biotics!

The door, which had clearly been opened by the attacker, passed by as Miranda was dragged inside. She wondered urgently what was going to happen, but she was suddenly turned around and slammed against a wall, her attacker keep his grip in her mouth. When she finally focused enough to see his face, her eyes widened.

"Funny stuff they give Admirals…" Shepard mulled. "Strength enhancements beyond even the Titan program in the N7…special nodes on the bones that dampen biotics…pretty bad-ass."

Miranda didn't try to speak, and nor could she. Her hands were wrapped around the wrist of the hand that held her mouth covered, but her grip wasn't tight. Shepard cocked an eyebrow at her, throwing an infuriatingly coy grin in the mix. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue? Whatever happened to the mighty Lawson?"

Miranda narrowed her eyes in a glare and tried to push the hand away from her mouth. When it held firm, she growled from her chest and lashed out, punching Shepard hard in the cheek. The new Admiral let out a yell of surprise, but her grip didn't falter.

"Wow…didn't lose the snappy punches, I see. Where do you practice? Can't imagine your pansy of a husband gets rough with you. Doubt his pacifism would like you to go to a boxing club, either." Miranda snapped two more punches, both hitting Shepard in the chest, pulling groans from the woman's body.

Shepard only grinned and came closer, her breath now ghosting over Miranda's face. "What's wrong? Upset that I told you the truth? That you fell for a boring, pacifistic idiot who keeps you locked up in this damn house to be his trophy wife?"

This time, Miranda stood on a single foot and slammed her leg into Shepard's shin. The admiral let out a gasp, grimacing in pain, but she stood her ground. "Oh…you really hate the truth. What is it you were afraid of, Miranda? Why did you run from me? What does he have that I didn't? I was never cruel to you! I treated you like a fucking _queen_! I broke every Alliance code in the book to break out of Vancouver to go find you when I heard about Grissom!"

Miranda struggled against the grip, her eyes beginning to tear up at the mention of the accident. There was nothing she could do to stop it, because she was halfway across the galaxy when it happened. She went ballistic after and ran to ground, planning to never come to light again. Shepard broke out of her lock-down in Vancouver to go find her.

Shepard didn't let her go through, and no matter how much Miranda struck out at her, she could do nothing to break the hold. Lindsey brought her face close again, her own eyes having the strain of tears at their edges. "Do you know how hard the last nine years have been? I killed myself every day trying to figure out how I lost you. What I did wrong. Was saving the galaxy from a billion year old cycle of extinction not good enough? I wanted nothing in this life, other than you. From the moment I met you, you had me. And then…you were gone, and I woke up to find the galaxy saved…and you engaged to some fucking stock broker."

Finally, Miranda had enough. She dug deep and let her biotics flare, not through her amp but through her body. The burst, although small, shook Shepard enough for Miranda to knock away her arm that had held her silent. She drove her knee into Shepard's midsection and slammed a fist against the admiral's head, throwing her to the floor. "Fuck you, Shepard!" She yelled. "Who do you think you are, breaking into my home and holding me hostage like some fucking criminal!? Being an Admiral doesn't give you that right!"

Shepard laughed, getting up and recovering from the blows she had taken moments before. "Do you see blues, Miranda? Do you see medals? Not even standard fatigues. I'm not here as Admiral Shepard, I'm here as fucking Lindsey Shepard, the woman who was left with nothing after giving everything. For you! I gave everything for _you_ , and you _abandoned_ me!"

Miranda shook her head firmly, stepping away from the now advancing Shepard. "I couldn't…I…I jus…I couldn't…"

"Couldn't what, Miranda?" Shepard snarled. "Couldn't wait for me to come back from deaths door? Couldn't resist Ian's chiseled jawline? Couldn't stand the thought of being single a day longer? _What!?"_ "

Miranda's retreat continued into the living room, but Shepard doggedly followed her. "No! You were…you…I…I couldn…"

"Stop stuttering like a deranged moron! Say it woman!" Shepard yelled firmly, trapping Miranda yet again in the hallway corner.

"I couldn't lose you like I lost Oriana!" Miranda screamed finally, letting her tears loose and slumping down against the wall, pulling her knees up to her chest. "You two were all I had, Lindsey! When I lost her…I lost my last connection to my family! When you were laying in that bed, looking like you would never wake up…I ran. I couldn't deal with the prospect of losing you as well, so…"

Shepard's face softened, back to the caring visage of the woman Miranda remembered from the Normandy. She slid down the wall next to the crying woman, and immediately Miranda crawled into her lap. Shepard shushed her sweetly. "So you ran to the boring, peace-loving guy who would never take a risk in his life…he would never die on you."

Miranda could only nod into Shepard's sweatshirt as she cried. Losing her sister in a botched kidnapping attempt by her father had shattered her. It had taken everything she ever believed she could do for Oriana and smashed it on the cold floor. She loved Oriana with everything, and then…she came to love Shepard just as much. When she sat in the hospital and listened to the doctors tell them that she might never wake up…she couldn't handle it. She was too frightened of losing someone else she loved.

So she pushed Shepard away and ran to the arms of someone she could love. Someone who would never be a risk taker. Someone who had never held a gun, who wasn't a fighter. Someone who would be forever safe and sound. Someone who wouldn't die and shatter her heart again.

She and Shepard sat there for what seemed like an eternity, Miranda curled into a ball and sitting half in Shepard's lap, her face buried into the admirals chest and her hands bunched in the fabric. It was wet now, covered in her tears, but that didn't seem to bother Shepard at all.

"I love you, Miranda. I always will." Shepard's voice was soft in her ear, as was the kiss that pressed to her hair.

Miranda rose from Shepard's chest, wiping her eyes with her forearm, a relieved laugh coming from her choked throat. "I do too, Shepard. I love you too, and…I never stopped loving you." She whispered, leaning in to press her lips to Lindsey's.

* * *

"Come back to space with me, Miranda." Shepard said quietly, her hand lazily rubbing circles into Miranda's bare back. She moaned pleasurably at the sensation, her body still sensitive from sex, long overdue with the woman she loved.

Miranda's eyes were closed as she hummed. "You know I can't do that, Lindsey." She mumbled.

Shepard huffed. "Oh come on. Just leave. Not like Ian the Explorer is going to come looking for you."

Miranda picked her head up and wound her fingers together, placing her chin on them and atop Lindsey's breasts, looking into the Admiral's post-sexual glow. "You know, Ian really is a wonderful man, if you get to know him."

Shepard scoffed, shifting her hands down to rest on Miranda round cheeks, giving them a squeeze and pulling an appreciative moan out of Miranda's throat. "Trust me, I'm not even remotely interesting in meeting the man behind the jawline. Just the thought of him bending you over an-"

"Lindsey," Miranda admonished

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Whatever, but you get my point. I hate the fact that he has touched you…" She squeezed Miranda's supple rear once again. Miranda hummed appreciatively and shifted to straddle Shepard, leaning down and kissing her breasts once each.

"I know, Lindsey…and I'm sorry. I wish it was different."

Shepard took Miranda's hands into her own and brought them to her lips, kissing the fingers. "I wish you would leave him and come with me." She said softly. "The Normandy really is cold without you."

Miranda gave her a sad smile. "I can't do that, Shepard. I'm a married woman, and I'll stay faithful to Ian."

Shepard cocked an eyebrow. "You're saying that, while laying on top of a naked woman in your guest room, after a few hours of sex? A woman who defiled literally every orifice you have on this amazing body of yours? I bet _Ian_ has never done that…"

Miranda slapped Shepard lightly on the shoulder. "You're so vulgar…but you must understand, Shepard. I cannot just up and leave my husband of nine years. We're…some weird type of happy here."

Lindsey and Miranda got out of bed and got dressed, although their constant kissing and teasing made the process take much longer than it should have. Soon, they were at the back door, Shepard dressed like a hoodlum once more, and Miranda looking like a housewife. Cooper, their dog, sat just outside, his tail wagging away happily.

Shepard petted him kindly as she walked out. "He isn't going to tell on you, is he?" She asked.

Miranda shook her head. "No. Cooper is a good boy. He wouldn't do that."

Shepard snapped her fingers. "Damn."

Miranda rolled her eyes and laughed, dragging Shepard in for a passionate kiss. It lasted long enough for them to draw away needing breath, but they stayed in each others arms, their foreheads resting together. After a few moments of silence, Shepard looked into Miranda's eyes.

"Please, Miranda…come with me... _please_..."

Miranda swallowed back her tears as she shook her head. "You know I can't, Lindsey. I…I wish I could…" Her voice was hollow, but she knew it was loud enough for Shepard to hear. The Admiral took a moment and squeezed Miranda one last time before turning away wordlessly, drawing her hood up and stalking away.

Miranda watched them woman she loved walk away, her heart in her stomach and her eyes glistening. Her hands clasped together over her heart while Shepard climbed the fence and stole away from the house where nobody would see.

"I wish I could, Shepard. I wish."

* * *

 **Did you enjoy it? Was it crappy? Was it good? Let me know! I think I'll be doing a good amount of one shots for a while, because long chapter stuff is starting to wear on me a bit. Anyway, have a good day and leave me a review to tell me how I did!**


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